Box of games i got last week in Brighton

You get some great stuff at car boots!

hogan knows best

Hogan does not know best!!

The theme tune was unbearable, the plot unfathomable and the acting was just unmentionable.

Not only did you get the light gun shooter from hell, you also got the first pilot for a tv show that was never even aired in the uk.

Hogan plays an ex marine who some how has a waterised version of KIT from knightrider, together they solve crime in the carribean and fight a genetical created super human who has gone on the rampage.

And if the plot sounds bad, wait till you try the game!

Full motion video of what looks like an adventure playground where men dressed as cyborgs (well sort of, they have crashhelmets on and wear bin bags on thier legs) jump out and strike a pose so you can shoot them and make then disappear.

This really has to be seen to be believed.

Phillips got some, no one wanted one

Big box blues

When P.C. games were released in the early 90's they didn't have DVD cases or cd jewel cases, they came in large A4 boxs with great cover art that looked cool on your shelf.
now days you get a small DVD box thats generic and fits well with the your films and cds but is nowhere near as good looking, when you spent £30 on a game you felt like you got something more for your money.
luckily when you buy a special editon of an xbox 360 game you get the same type off are artwork (the art book in gears of war and the map and coin in oblivion) and free stuff.
as long as they they release these i will speand that little bit extra for then over the standard ones.

How not to use CD ROM.

When the CD rom media was first introduced to the gaming market many publishers wanted to be first to exploit the new medium, with its cheap production cost and unthought of data storage size.
the problem was not many had any idea how to uterlise it correctly so we ended up with the so called "interactive movie".
These distictly uninteractive bits of software used cd roms large storage space to play full motion video and cd quality sound which at the time look incredible, thee only problem was with hours of video and a better sound track and effects someone forgot about the most important bit, the actual game.

Above are the best (or worst) examples of how interactive movies would never change the world of gameing.

Night trap

A group of teen girls (ex soap stars and a bunch of unknowns play the girls in question) are on a road trip and somehow are invited to a large house, this house is owneed by a stange couple and thier daughter and two cousins.

(plot spoiler...if there was a plot)
The family is infact a group of vampires who want drain the scantily clad young girls of thier fluides, to make matters worse the house is also under siege by a group of mutant ninja vampires called the oggers. but dont worry, the whole house is rigged with traps to catch these intruders and this is where you come in.
you play a swat team tech expert who along with you team of swat team meat heads have hacked into the houses hidden camera and trap system, this allows you to skip between the cams in each room and watch the girls and family members ham thier was through 2 hours of bad dialog and a musical number (yes a musical number!).

Its the same every time except the only random bit, each time the family meets the change the code colour to activate the traps, this is done by spliceing in the colours name into the converstion wso badly it sounds like a disjointed british rail anouncement.
thers no fun to be had after the first two play throughs and lets face it, the only reason it sold was an MP tried to have it banned cos of the scene when a girl in a nightie is grabbed by the most unconvinceing vamps ever.

Space Ace,

Good god this is not a game! you watch 2 mins of FMV, you pressa button to move to the next one. if you press the wrong one or you press it too slow you get a death fmv and its game over.
and thats it, snaps a more challengeing and interactive game than this!

So the interactive movie was a dead end in gaming, you would think it would be long dead and gone wouldnt you? but no, just play 2005's farenhight and there it is stuck right after the third section, its blody space ace again! your chased round your work place by large head lice.
do you fight them with a cleverly implamented fight system? no you wait till the fmv finnishs and you press a button, if you press the wrong button you see a death fmv.

we dont need this kind of gamming back thanks so please let it rest in peace (preferebly in an unmarked garve somewhere in the eastern block).

All game shows should be played like this!

If celeb big brother was played with miniguns I would watch 24/7.
Imagine jade Goodey fragged by Leo Sayer to win a VCR and a Argos toaster!

Why not kill off a few C listers? there's hundreds of em in the world doing nothing but QVC and late night quiz shows, why not get them to entertain us with a run through of the Cyber tower show from flashback?

Please let me know which games would make a good way to dispose of the chuckle brothers?

UK box covers

UK box covers for mega drive games are so ugly and dated compared to the jap release box art, take strider for example, the pal release looks like something out of flash  Gordon, I mean the guy looks like Shatner for gods sake.

The jap release has a manga feel to it, okay its not really anything to do with the actual game (both covers have very little in common with the actual game) but the picture is eye catching and the visuals are very starwarsey.

the colours are far more vivid on the jap version and the lettering is much more attractive.

Apparently the difference is due to regional preference in the west , we prefer real looking characters as apposed to the stylised version from the east, though I prefer the manga cover.

Have added some new snaps of my collection today.

Comix zone is a comic book based scrolling beat em up with a difference.
You are a comic book artist sucked into your own comic, to escape you must fight your own creations as you move from frame to frame.

To help you your pet rat will assist you by going into tunnels too small for you and distracting your enemy's while you get some free hits in.

This German version comes with free sound track cd (is was scratched but still plays) and is quite rare.